Evil is rampant

In light of all that has been going on lately, a lot of people are asking how I can believe in God with so much evil in the world.

God doesn’t create evil, but he does allow it. Just as he allows sin, if we weren’t sinful we wouldn’t need Jesus to save us.

So yes there is evil rampant in our world. But the worst evil in the history of the world was the crucifixion of Jesus Christ.

And by that evil, God gained the greater glory.

God allows evil, he doesn’t create it, but he allows it for His own glory.

We need Jesus to save us from our sin, without it we are walking dead.

But we are responsible for our sin, not God.

God moves in those who believe, to show us the wickedness of our flesh, to help us turn from our sins, to do His work, and to glorify Him.

Not to show others look how I overcame this myself, but to show others how retched we are yet how loving He remains, to bring God the glory.

Begging Jesus to come soon, is asking him to remove us from our suffering now, when our suffering nothing compared to his suffering. Jesus will return, in His time. God’s prophecy is weaved throughout the bible, we are to rest in His promises, they will be fulfiled.

For now we are to suffer, to bring Him glory, to work for His Kingdom.

It’s not just a Baylor problem, it’s a heart problem.

I can’t seem to scroll down Facebook or turn on the news without hearing some information about rape, sexual assault or the changing times at Baylor and other universities.
With all this attention on Baylor and their attempt to reconcile their past actions, I can’t help but notice that people aren’t looking at the situation from any kind of biblical perspective. Its all he said she said, well football will suck now, did you hear about that guy at Stanford, on and on.
It’s easy to get wrapped up in all of the news and drama and trying to decipher what is true and false. It’s also easy to isolate the issue to Baylor alone, which isn’t the truth at all.
Rape doesn’t start with rape, it starts with the root of sin in someone’s heart.
It starts with apathy towards God.
Our lives as believers are not just to be spent on earth going through the motions waiting to find rest in our eternal home.
Once you become saved the holy spirit dwells within you to help you fight the daily battle to combat sin.
Too many people think once they have been saved they’re good to simply wait till God calls them home.
Living a life not combating sin is really no life at all. Habitual sin is what separates us from God.
God allows us to live so that we may bring him glory and honor.
He is our savior but that is not to be taken for granted.
While I am glad Baylor is taking actions to change the stigma around rape and the culture of today, the true problem won’t be solved until the issues of the heart are addressed.
Sin doesn’t just affect you, it affects the people around you. The sinful actions of the individuals accused at Baylor have affected the entire university.
Let’s not forget the consequence of sin.
I believe today’s culture takes sin very complacently.
They believe “I can sin, but it’s okay because God already forgave me.”
When we sin we are to be so utterly dependent on God that we are in a phase of incredible mourning, not just a simple “eh well ya I raped her but God already forgave me so it’s okay.”
I pray for the hearts of man to be transformed through the sins they commit, that their heart weeps over their short comings.
We are all going to fall short of the glory of God, daily for that matter.
Until the root of rape culture is address, nothing is truly going to change.
Sin is rampant in the world, just as the bible says the end times will be.
It is how we address this sin and repent of it that truly glorifies God.
I too am a victim of someone else’s sinful actions, their decision to rape me was a apathy towards sin.
I too am sinful, but I will not be apathetic towards my sin.

Living Life in the Shadows


I’ve been struggling a lot with watching friends and family walk in the shadows, as their lives are full of saying one thing and doing another.

As much as they are at fault of hiding in the shadows, I am too at fault for not reproving them sooner.

God calls us to walk as “children of light”, but a lot of us find ourselves living in the shadows. Living a life of a hidden reality and only walking in part-time spirituality.

And then we wonder why we feel so alone, cold and that our prayers are going unanswered.

But then you say but…

Matthew 7:7 says “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.” … have you ever read a verse and not taken it out of context but really studied every word not only in it but around it?

Then you would see that Matthew 7:13 says, Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many. For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few. Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing but inwardly are ravenous wolves.

Don’t be a wolf in sheep’s clothing. There are already so many of those in this world. Proclaiming to a be a christian and leading a secret life is not a way to life but a way to sin and destruction. 

While your eternal life may be promised in heaven that does not give you any right to live a life satisfying your fleshly desires and following your own will.

The only request on our end of the covenant is to follow His will.

Which in reality, isn’t anything compared to Jesus sacrificing His life so that we could have life at all, let alone spend eternity with God.

“Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.”

Ephesians 5:1-2

We are not called to be imitators of God when we want to be because we really just want to satisfy our worldly desires. Whether those be clearly visible sins or hidden desires, its all the same in His eyes.

So don’t think that just because the world can’t see your prideful heart that God doesn’t see your “me centered” agenda.

Don’t let anyone, including a so called believer, “deceive” you into thinking selfish, lustful, me-centered behavior is compatible with reflecting God and loving people well.

“But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints. Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving.” Ephesians 5: 3-5

I’m convinced that a lot of the millennial generation believes the only way they can be hypocritical in their walk, is to be sexually immoral. But the physical condition of our bodies is not the only way to be rebelling against God.

Maybe you hide behind a shadow of pride, lust, and distrust.

For this I say, be careful.

Be careful who you are listening to. Are you listening to the Word of God and God himself or the world that is full of false prophets and preachers who preach their own agenda over the Word of God.

Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience. Therefore do not become partners with them” Ephesians 5: 6-7

Don’t just follow along because its what the “cool kids” are doing.

“For at one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light (for the fruit of light is found in all that is good and right and true), and try to discern what is pleasing to the Lord.

Not only am I saying to step out of the darkness of unfruitful works but calling you into a life full of light and fruitfulness.

“Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them. For it is shameful even to speak of the things that they do in secret. But when anything is exposed by the light, it becomes visible, for anything that becomes visible is light” Ephesians 5: 8-14

Expose your hypocrisy into the light, strip yourself of your pride and your own agenda, humble yourself before God and let His will be done.

Humility before God is hard. Deep down even when praying our own wants and desires creep up on us, but nothing compares to the sovereignty of God.

God is so much bigger than our hypocrisy and deeply desires to bring us into the light, but we must beg for forgiveness and transformation.

We must beg for a difficult journey. A transformation out of our flesh driven lifestyles into a life that reflects the character of God.

While I may not have everything of my life shining in the light, I am growing every so conscious of the ease in which my selfish ways can help drag me back into the shadows.

Don’t just be another false teacher, thats why so many people have such a tainted view of Christians, because so many so called believers don’t match their words to their actions. Or so many so called believers preach their own agenda and their own gospel.

When unbelievers see and interact with authentic (non-hypocritical)Christians, the light of Christ shines upon them and invites them to turn from the deception of sin and death and receive God’s love and forgiveness through a relationship with Christ.

I say this to evaluate your own life, your own flesh and desires, are they of this world or of the Word?

Are you preaching the truth or reflecting the shadows?

Shine the light the God has brought you into. 


Thought Catalog

Sometimes I share the inner pages of my journals: Here’s what I wrote this morning.


John 17: the only chapter we have of what Jesus is doing NOW. Compared to the 4 books we have of what Jesus did on earth. John 17, the only chapter that really tells us what Jesus prayed.
If the son of God, God in the flesh is in a position of complete dependence on God & His promises – the more dependent are we to be on God.
He shows us a model of prayer from the one we think wouldn’t need to pray.
His prayer show us that He is the mediator between man and God.
A God who chose to make us His children. A God who chose to us the analogy of Father and Son. One that so intimately and personally connects us to Him.
His prayer shows us that Jesus was ever conscious that every hour, every event, every day in the unfolding story of worldly redemption – was planned and is planned by God.
His working in Jesus’s life, your life, my life are all operation under a divine schedule.
A schedule that only troubled Jesus once, when the hour came.
A schedule that the disciples, the people who communed with Jesus the most, thought meant tragedy.
A schedule that ultimately meant triumph
So don’t be troubled. Don’t think for a moment that God doesn’t have you exactly where he wants you to be, he is guiding your steps.
We are all helpless without complete dependence on God.
Pray without ceasing that your mind and heart would be open to His will so you can joyfully follow his divine schedule.

Go. Stand. Speak.

Lately I have been convicted to share whats been on my heart the last couple of weeks. I have been meaning to sit and blog a number of different posts but I think this one struck me the most.

There is a common theme I have been hearing lately that has really tugged at my heart.

The “so called” Christian.

I’ve heard it from a number of friends lately. They are afraid to talk about their faith to others or to say “I’m praying for you” or “God will care for you” or even to say they are Christian because of fear of judgement or of people disregarding them because they speak some kind of Christian lingo.

It breaks my heart to hear this.

This is the exact reason that so many people have terrible images of Christians, because all they see are hypocritical examples of people who claim themselves to be Christians, but who wouldn’t dream about acting like it.

Not by any means am I saying that I’ve never been hypocritical or that I always do the right thing or say the right thing, but by no means am I scared to say that I am in fact a follower of Jesus.

It’s not a one and done, people.

It’s not okay “God I place my faith in you” but I’m going to keep living like I was before but at least now I know that I should have eternal life.

God gifts us the holy spirit to work in our hearts and bodies to help to carry out His will and purposes, but we can’t just go ignoring this voice we receive from Him for fear of judgement and lack of desire to give up our flesh driven hearts.

The Holy spirit gives us the power to break free from habitual sin, but you have to be willing to change for God.

So what are we called to do?


Acts 5: 20

“Go and stand in the temple and speak to the people all the words of this Life.”

The great commission of Matthew 28: 18-20

“And Jesus came and said to them, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. 19 Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20 teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”

God has called us to GO.

To make disciples and to find the lost. He doesn’t command us to go, watch what you say to make sure no ones feelings get hurt or that you don’t make anyone uncomfortable. He doesn’t command us to be rude about it or proud of it, He calls us to share the love that He shared with us so that we could have eternal life.

There is nothing to be proud about, but everything to be thankful about.

We are called to share with those just like us, broken and sinful.

God has called us to STAND.

We are called to stand firm with a posture that reflects our fate.

We have been saved and forgiven, a free gift given willingly to us out of love. Its time that we start acting like, not to hang our heads in fear of judgment.

Ephesians gives us a clear example of standing like so. We are to put on the WHOLE armor of God. Not just the pieces that we want to so we can keep living a life of sin and desires of the flesh.

Ephesians 6:10-20

” Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. 11 Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. 12 For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. 13 Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. 14 Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, 15 and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace. 16 In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one; 17 and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God, 18 praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints, 19 and also for me, that words may be given to me in opening my mouth boldly to proclaim the mystery of the gospel, 20 for which I am an ambassador in chains, that I may declare it boldly, as I ought to speak.”

God has called us to SPEAK.

We are to declare the Word and truth of God boldly, not sheepishly.

What an incredible thing that as children of God we get to be the mouth piece of God. What a wonderful Father to be an ambassador for, to get to speak truth about a God that doesn’t require us to do anything in return for our salvation.

So what are you going to say the next time you feel that God has called you to Go and Stand?

Speak the truth.

God loves each and every one individually, he knows you personally and cares for you deeply. He loved you so much that he gave His one and only son that you could know Him and have eternal life with Him. You just have to place your full trust in God. He will make you new, with that newness comes life and love far beyond what you could imagine.

So if you have been made new, recreated for His glory and purpose, it’s time to start acting like it.

The holidays aren’t the only time that we should feel confident in our beliefs and eternal destiny.

Each and every day he loves you, cares for you, and renews you.

Each and every day we should Go. Stand. and Speak for His glory,not for our own.


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What if?

What if our lives weren’t so dictated by our current circumstances and rather determined by our dependence on Christ? How much would our lives change?

We live in a world that pushes us to be discontent with our circumstances, that encourages us that we are never enough and we can always do better or have more.

We live in a world that constantly tells us not to be content with things but rather always be working to making something better or always wanting something new.

We live in a world opposite of the truth of the bible, one that tells us that things have to change when we don’t get what we want rather than resting in contentment found in Christ.

For the last year I have been dating the most wonderful man, an incredible man who also happens to be incredibly sick.

His illness is far out of his own control, but well within the scope of God’s plan.

Which is hard for many to fully understand and often why I get questioned as to why I would want to be in a relationship full of “what if’s”?

The question I get most is:  “if this lasts a life time, is that something you’re willing to put up with?”

This question to me is almost offensive.

A circumstance doesn’t control a relationship, like the world tends to make everyone believe. The world’s wisdom encourages people to rely on their circumstances for happiness and to rely on changes in circumstances to make every thing better when it isn’t going how we want.

It’s as if to say if something presents difficulty its better to live without it so we just don’t have to “put up with it”.

You’re not going to be content if you just put up with circumstances, sit back and wait for things to change.

So if Caleb’s illness lasts a life time, no I’m not going to put up with it.

God has ordained our specific circumstances for each of us, and in all the ups and downs that those circumstances may bring we may have peace, we can find contentment no matter what our circumstances may bring.

To find this contentment we must remember that our reactions to our circumstances are a direct reflection of our faith and trust in His promises. Our contentment or lack their of can either go to show His glory or go to show our lack of trust in His sovereignty.

To find this contentment we must look to Philippians and look at Paul’s dependence on Christ and also look at one of the most over used and misused verses in the bible.

Philippians 4:13 “  I can do all things through him (Christ) who strengthens me.”

A verse that is so easily misconstrued by being plastered on posters of athletes and body builders with people thinking they their wants will be met by God because of this verse. With the hopes that their football game will be won because Christ will physically give them strength to persevere or with the hopes that they will gain some super natural power to overcome whatever physical battle they may be facing.

But that’s not the point. Paul was not saying that God was going to gift him supernatural strength so he could over come the Romans that were preventing him from escaping house arrest, or that God would prevent them from persecuting him, or stop give him the community he deeply desired, but he was saying that God would provide peace despite his circumstances.

Philippians 4:11-12: outlines “all things” that Paul receives strength from Christ to be content in.

Christ gives Paul the strength to be content :

•when he has humble means

•when he has both an abundance and a need

•when he is living in prosperity

•when he is going hungry and when he has plenty

Christ does not give Paul the strength to lift a PR, win a football game, or learn to fly.

He gives him the ability to rely on Christ for strength rather than his own abilities no matter what circumstances he may face. Christ gives Paul the ability and power to be at peace in both abundance and need, trouble and comfort, hunger and fullness.

This verse further alludes to the exact opposite of strength but rather exemplifies our weakness and our need.

We don’t have to be strong to face our circumstances, we don’t have to have everything figured out, or having a way to overcome what battles we are facing, we need only to admit our lack of ability and our desire need to be dependent on God.

God’s power is seen in the weak, as no one is able to endure such circumstances without God.

The weaker the vessel the more God’s power can be seen.

As Christians we are not to boast about our abilities, but I will boast about my weakness.

For my weakness and inadequacy is when I am most aware of God’s strength and tender care for me.

2 Corinthians 12:10

“For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

So how?

How do we learn to be content in our circumstances and learn to harvest this same secret that Paul has discovered?

One thing that is encouraging is that it can be learned, we can learn and grow just as the wise Paul once did.

First we must grow in knowledge of Christ, because this is nothing that the world can offer.

Not only do we need to grow in knowledge, and know Him, but be dependent on Chirst.

So let’s look at his promises:

2 Timothy 3:12 – we will all be persecuted because of our life in Christ

Matthew 5:10 – those who are persecuted for righteousness will inherit the Kingdom of Heaven

Hebrews 13:5 – be content, He will never leave you nor forsake you

Matthew 28:20 – He is with you, till the end of the age

John 10:27 – He hears you, and knows you

Romans 8:38 – nothing can separate you from Him

Romans 8:28 – all things work together for your good

1 Peter 1 – you can receive salvation

1 Peter 6 – trials bring about purification of faith

These promises can help us to not only face our unfavorable circumstances but also grow content in these circumstances.

We need not just endure but be content in any and all circumstances. We are strengthened through the Word and through the Holy Spirit.

Above all remember this.

When we are at the end of ourselves, there is the power and strength of God that allows us to handle the circumstances God has ordained for us, and gives us peace despite not changing our circumstances.

God will provide you the strength to be content, you just have to trust in His plan, His power, and His love.

  • Lindy
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Running to YOUR arms.

It is like I am a different person.

I sat in my room attempting to study the terms in my notebook, but nothing seemed to be setting in. I knew I needed to study to be prepared for my tests next week and be able to go to the football game with my friends, but my subconscious thoughts seemed to make my emotions bubble over more.

My eyes began to well up with tears, for no apparent reason, but I couldn’t stop them, I couldn’t make the tears stop from running down my face.

Why was I crying?

Yes, I’m stressed with school, I miss my friends, I miss my family, I miss Caleb and I don’t understand what God is calling me to do with my life, but those are not reasons for crying. Those are reasons for rejoicing.

Rejoicing that I am able to attend college.

Rejoicing that I have friends and family with connections that mean a lot to me.

Rejoicing that I miss the love of my life like I never knew I could miss someone.

Rejoicing that God is calling me to things that scare me and that I don’t understand, but that I know are better than what I could ever imagine.

So why was I crying?

To be honest I couldn’t tell you.

Only one thing offered explanation.

I’m going to share something I haven’t told many people and something that I don’t like admitting.

When I was raped and assaulted in the fall of 2013 I couldn’t seem to stop my cycle of self hate and depression.

I turned to medicine to pull me out of the pit I had dug myself into, it helped, it took the edge off and got me back on my feet.

I hate to admit that I didn’t fully rely on God during that time to heal me of my brokenness and to pull be from my rock bottom, but rather to modern medicine.

Medicine that actually alters the chemical balance in your brain.

So now I am crying without being able to figure out why.

So now I feel like I am outside of myself, like I am someone different.

So I don’t have the emotion or sensitivity that I used to and not in a good way.

So now I face feelings of depression and anxiety again.

So now I get headaches and stomach aches that seems to twist me into knots.

So now I don’t want it to control me any more.

For the past 3 months I have been slowly lowering my dosage of this debilitating medication so that my mind will no longer be gripped by medicine.

I am currently at half the dosage that I have been on for the past 2 years but it seems to be the point that my body is facing withdrawal the hardest.

The littlest things will set me on an emotional spiral.

Tonight a text from Caleb that had nothing but intentions to comfort me, as he knows my struggle, made my eyes well with tears.

Sitting in my room wishing I was finished with school, getting married, growing my business and pursing my dreams was the perfect way to let Satan creep further into my insecurities.

It was time to stop Satan from crawling deeper, from letting my insecurities make me believe the lie that I am inadequate at all I am doing.

With tears in my eyes I got in my car and drove to the gym, in hopes to listen to praise music and burn off some steam.

But I forgot my ID so they wouldn’t let me into the gym.

Frustrated but knowing I could still achieve what I intended, I tied my shoes tight and started to run.

A mile in, as my lungs and legs began to notify me that not running in a year was not my best decision, my eyes began to fill with tears once again as these words rang in my ears…

“Fill me up, God

Fill me up, God

Fill me up, God

Fill me up

Love of God overflow

Permeate all my soul”

The emptiness that had filled my mind and heart for the past week began to fade ever so slightly, my body ached with a new desire to let go and let God fill me up.

Crying while running makes running much more difficult.

I slowed down to calm my spirit and contemplated stopping and walking the rest of the way, but that would mean giving up and that was the opposite of what I wanted to do.

As I prayed for God to give me the physical strength to keep moving my legs and His truth to fill up my soul, great truth filled my headphones.

“You are good, You are good

When there’s nothing good in me

You are love, You are love

On display for all to see

You are light, You are light

When the darkness closes in

You are hope, You are hope

You have covered all my sin

You are peace, You are peace

When my fear is crippling

You are true, You are true

Even in my wandering

You are joy, You are joy

You’re the reason that I sing

You are life, You are life,

In You death has lost its sting

Oh, I’m running to Your arms,

I’m running to Your arms.

The riches of Your love

Will always be enough

Nothing compares to Your embrace

Light of the world forever reign “

I started lose consciousness that I was running, shut my eyes and lifted my hands out to my sides.

To those around me I probably looked very odd, but I didn’t care.

For those 3 miles I lost those feelings that I was inadequate, I began to rely on God not only for physical strength but to remold my mind, and I forgot about the stresses that seemed to be distracting me from rejoicing in what God has gifted to me.

While I don’t feel so hot now that my body has realized that it doesn’t quite love running, especially not after a year long hiatus, my mind and heart hear a different tune than before.

Lord I rejoice.

No I do not rejoice always as I am told in Philippians, as I am imperfect, but I do rejoice.

I rejoice in the truth that God has me exactly where he wants me to be.

I rejoice that I am a daughter of a God that loves me despite my inadequacies.

I rejoice that I am forgiven for my lack of reliance on God, even when he is begging me to come to Him.

I rejoice that slowly but surely I will beat this battle of dependence on medication, because I can depend on a God that is far stronger and more powerful than any lie Satan can place in my head.

I rejoice that I am loved by God far more than I could ever love myself.

My prayer tonight came on my drive home…

I give You my life

I give You my trust


You are my God

You are enough


My heart is Yours

Take it all

You can overcome anything with God,

  • Lindy

What I hate about my body: (it’s not what you think…)

Yes, hates a strong word, but bear with me.

This won’t be what you think!

Ok, I’m not going to turn this into a body shaming session or into a list of things I wish were different. While I do wish my stomach was a little flatter and legs a little firmer, that’s beside the point.

Ok let me rewind for a moment.

In the middle of last spring semester I walked into my favorite little coffee shop, common grounds (most people know I live there), and as I walked in I recognized a familiar face, Timmy. Common Grounds worker and a welcome face, as we have come to be friends through our mutual time spent at CG. Opening the door carrying my normal stack of books in one hand, water in the other and a backpack full of other books and journals, Timmy spotted my bible in my hand and asked what I had been reading.

I told him I had just finished reading Romans and Hebrews and was about to start another book.

Timmy said ” read James it will tear you apart, or at least it did me”

So I sat down, and started to read James. I wasn’t as focused as I had hoped and the words were there but they didn’t hit me with the impact they made just the other night.

But thank you Timmy because of your comment I instantly knew where to turn, as I sat in my bed teary eyed with frustration last week.

If you know me well or are close to me, it’s likely you know how much I struggle with my body confidence and to what extent I have a negative perspective on my physical appearance.

Ok no this is not to get people to say poor me, or the normal comments like “but you’re skinny” and such.

I’m sharing the truth because I very well know I’m not the only person out there that struggles with this.

Now I’m admitting my true heart towards my body to the masses not just to a few of my friends and mentors.

My boyfriend, Caleb, being my best friend knows that this is my biggest insecurity. He tries so hard to reassure me that my perspective is skewed and to love me through my negative talk and forgives me for falling into a worldly mindset and not a Godly one.

However; the other night a miscommunication over text had me in tears. I once again had expressed my insecurities about my body.

And this time I was not responded to with the loving norm but rather something all together different.

He said something along the lines of ” this has got to stop, or I can no longer help you, you’re on your own”

Ok this sounds harsh but I promise where he was coming from was totally different than what it sounds.

We both had miscommunicated our feelings.

Caleb was right in his response, he had done all he could to change my perspective but it was up to me and God not him and I.

Like I have been told time and time again, the only way to change your heart is to give over everything to God and trust that he had the power to change not my own power or the power of worldly devices or the power of others words.

James 1: 5-8

“If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do.”

Words and things are but a vapor. God’s Word remains forever.

So we must listen wholeheartedly and believe fully that God hears our cries and desires to help us.

With the Word in my heart temptations have disappeared a little bit, but the evil one is still doing his work to fight back.

James 1:14-16

“but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.

Don’t be deceived,my dear brothers and sisters.”

So what do I hate about my body?:

My tongue

My mind

Parts of my heart

Do I have a right to hate the body that is made in Gods image, no I should be thankful for this temple and vessel to deliver his Word and do His work.

But I do have a right to hate the things that do not align with the character of God. Like my tongue, my mind and parts of my heart.

James 3: 5- 6

“Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts.Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.”

James 3: 8

” but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.”

James 3: 9-10

“With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness.Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be.”

The tongue is a fire, a world of evil among other body parts.

Yet, almost daily I set a fire in my body.

A message of dislike, shame and frustration toward my body.

My idea of fit, being 10 lbs less and with about 15 lbs of muscle more, but why?

Why do I let my tongue control my mind and my heart?

Why do we stand in the mirror critiquing ourselves and our bodies?

To make our heart believe what our tongue speaks?

Now that just seems silly if you think about it.

The hate coming out of your mouth will slowly become the condition of your mind, what you believe daily, and the thoughts of your mind will soon become the meditations of your heart.

James 4:

“What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? You desire but do not have, so you kill.You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.”

What are your true desires?

Are they prideful?

Are they all for the world?

To fit in with this standard that has been set forth by the world to have the perfect body, the perfect hair, the perfect personality?

 But when does the striving for perfection stop?

James 4: 4 – 10

“You adulterous people,don’t you know that friendship with the world means enmity against God? Therefore, anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God.  Or do you think Scripture says without reason that he jealously longs for the spirit he has caused to dwell in us? But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says:

“God opposes the proud
    but shows favor to the humble.”

Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you.Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.”

Like I had been told time and time again, I must submit myself fully and humbly. I must give God my full heart and not harbor bits and pieces of it because I’m not ready to hand those over.

He gave me life and deserves my whole heart, especially the part that I have given to the world through my self hate.

I pray that God will transform my heart that he would change my perspective, so that I can love this body he has gifted me with. I pray that he would give me the strength to not fall into temptation to say negative things about my body, but that he would give me the strength to replace those thoughts and words with truth of who God created me to be.

We are called to see worth, value, and dignity in every human, no matter how sinful or distorted or far from God.

To devalue any human being—even yourself— is to deny your intrinsic worth as an image-bearer of the Creator.

We are called to reflect Him.

We need to stop saying that God’s image is not good enough for us. 

Mankind has the unique capacity to reflect God like nothing else in all creation.

Though our sin defaces us, we were originally created to see God Himself in each other.

We are called daily to fulfill our God-reflecting potential.

Hear the call and act upon it.


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Going Against the Grain

  • My heart morns.
  • I voiced my opinion of about the recent court ruling and got a variety of mixed responses. Some of which hurt, they called me names and claimed that they were glad that I wasn’t in their lives. Some of which encouraged, I was so incredibly thankful for those who messaged me and said how they were proud of me for standing up for the truth.
  • After reviewing a Facebook post in which I stated my opinion, one that focused on the love of our God but also the reality of not tolerating sin, my heart sank. So many of my friends that call themselves Christians said they couldn’t care less if someone who was gay was getting married, because it doesn’t go against what they believe in any way.
  • Others went back to the old testament and all of the Jewish laws that were set forth saying that if one doesn’t agree with homosexuality that they then should follow all of the other rules set forth.
  • Trying to save ourselves by following the law, is hopeless.
  • But I think the saddest part of it all is the fact that this shines even more light on the lack of people who truly know the gospel.
  • Now I am not trying to say that I am any better than anyone else, we are all equal in God’s eyes, we are all sinners, but I am trying to say that we are broken far beyond what we could ever imagine.
  • People are turned away from the church daily because the modern church has a stigma of obligation and law, but it’s not true.
  •  The church is not be ruled by law but by the spirit of God.
  • Galatians 5: 13
  •  “You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love.”
  • Jesus died on the Christ for everyone. White, Black, heterosexual or homosexual, yes. But no one is born homosexual, no one is born saved.
  • But we are all loved.
  • We have been given the most incredible gift we could ever imagine, freedom. Freedom in Christ and freedom from sin. Not just a little bit of freedom from sin but more grace and mercy than we can wrap our heads around. All of the sins of our past, present and future are non existent in God’s eyes.
  • Trusting in this truth is difficult. It is hard to fathom that someone loved you far before you could ever love Him or far before you could even love yourself. Having faith that this incredible gift is truth is the greatest thing one could ever do.
  • When God rules in your heart, the spirit is gifted to you. The spirit rules in your heart and guides your steps. The holy spirit confirms the truth that if you put your trust in Jesus you will live forever, but if you remain you will be stuck in condemnation and sin forever.
  • During this current change in freedom of marriage many have bought up the same question. Well if I am saved why does it matter if I am gay or not, or if I just let other homosexuals go and get married without showing them the gospel?
  • Well what if you kill someone simply because you know you will be forgiven? Does that make sense? Both murder and homosexuality are a sin God’s eyes but does that justify it?
  • We are not to take advantage of God’s incredible grace.
  • Jesus did not die to give us complacency in the flesh.
  • Your walk with Christ should be marked with the spirit of God, with evidence that God is in your life, but how do you show this?
  • If we lean one direction we are considered a hypocrite, if we lean the other we are considered a hater.
  • We are to distance ourselves from both the left and the right, we don’t celebrate homosexual practice, we acknowledge God’s clear revealed word that it is sin.
  • We love despite their sexual orientation, we are to live like Christ.
  • Christ is Love.
  • We don’t hate those who embrace homosexuality, we love them enough to not just collapse under the societal pressure. The pressure to not say anything about their sin, we are called to share sin with others in love.
  • We speak the truth in love into this confusion, saying, simultaneously, “That’s wrong” and “I love you.”
  • We’re not the left; we say, this is wrong.
  • And we’re not the right; we say, you’re loved.
  •  We speak good news, with those sweetest, deepest, most glorious words of the cross — the same words that God spoke us — “You’re wrong, and you’re loved.”
  • God tells us we’re wrong, that the wages of sin is death, that unrepentant rebellion means judgment, that our rescue required the cursed death of his Son (Romans 3:23; John 3:36; Galatians 3:13).

    And God tells us we’re loved, that even while we were sinners, Jesus died for us, that while we were unrighteous, Jesus suffered in our place, that though we were destined for wrath, Jesus welcomes us into glory (Romans 5:8; 1 Peter 3:18; Ephesians 2:1–7).

  • Sharing this with others will cause persecution from others, hate from more and maybe even harm from others. To be a martyr is to physically die for your faith, which we should all be willing to do, for without Jesus we would have no life.
  • While this sin is now normalized and legalized it does not make it right.
  • Stand out for the truth, the wages of sin is death.
  • The hope of life is in Jesus Christ.
  • Love did not win on Friday.
  • Love won on the cross 2,000 years ago.
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Rejoice in the Suffering

I can’t help but cry. I can’t help but continuously hide my face behind a blanket trying to conceal my tears.

My heart is breaking.

The love of my life is 1,050 miles away in immense pain, struggling to breath, without a cure or answers.

It is no longer about me missing him, its the helplessness that is overwhelming. I want to be there to hold his hand and pray with him, but all I can do is sit and wait for a text to come. I want to know what is happening but those moments in between feel like dark pits full of mystery, as I try not to let my mind wander.

I’ve texted the majority of friends in my phone asking for prayer, my prayer warriors as I like to call them. But that doesn’t feel like I’m doing enough to help, I feel so helpless I can’t even put it into words.

His little sister and his mom text me, calming me as they too feel just as helpless as I do.

I just want to be there, not here.

But I am here, not there.

More than anything else could ever do, the gospel enables us to embrace tribulations and thereby positions ourselves to gain the full benefit from them.

For the gospel is the one great permanent circumstance in which we live and move; and every hardship in our lives is allowed by our God only because it serves HIs gospel purposes in us.

When we view our circumstances in this light, we realize that the gospel is not just one piece of good news that fits into our lives somewhere among all the bad. Instead, the gospel makes genuinely good news out of every other aspect of our lives, including my severest trials.

Romans 5: 1-5 // “Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hop of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character, and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, who he has given us.”

We will experience difficulty that help us grow. We rejoice in suffering not because we like pain or deny its tragedy; but because we know God is using life’s difficulties and Satan’s attacks to build our character.

The problems we face will develop our perseverance – which will deepen our trust in God, strengthen our character and give us greater confidence about the future.

Yes, our patience will be tested. But thank God for those opportunities to grow and to deal with them in strength.

The good news about our trials is that God is forcing them to bow to His gospel purposes and do good unto us by improving our character and making us more conformed to the image of Christ.

Preaching the gospel to ourselves daily provides a lens in which we can view our trials in this way and see the true cause for rejoicing that exists in them.

We can then embrace trials as friends and allow them to do God’s good work in us.

Trying to calm myself this morning, I read 2 Corinthians 12.

Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

I texted Caleb afterwards, telling him that he was essentially a modern day Paul right now.

He laughed asking why I would say such a thing.

In 2 Corinthians Paul is plagued with a thorn, a kind of aliment that we still do not know a name for. He begs God three times to take it away from Him.

But God says to him, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”

God does not instantly take away Paul’s ailment but instead uses his suffering as a ministry, to show his trust and faith in God.

Paul’s suffering lets God use him as a platform for His glory, just as Caleb is doing through his trial.

Our weakness not only helps develop Christian character; it also deepens our worship, because in admitting our weakness, we affirm God’s strength.

Our task is to pray, to believe and to trust. Paul is living proof that holy living and courageous faith does not ensure instant physical healing.

When we pray for healing, we must trust our bodies to God’s care.

We must recognize that nothing separates us from his love and that our spiritual condition is always more important that our physical condition.

My eyes may be filled with tears, but my heart is full of joy.

My heart may be breaking, but my trust is not.

His plans are beyond my understanding, His love beyond all comprehension, but my faith remains in His sovereignty.